© you're so funny!

thanks ! a car ran over my 4 year old self because, my frens had challenged me by saying ‘you cannot cross the road without help.’ guess what? i proved their point. my parents know nothing about this episode.

thanks ! my mum made me visit a psychologist when i was 5 because, she thought i was crazy for liking movies with violence. question mark question mark.

thanks ! it's still a mystery that, why i haven't broken any bones, considering the way i live.

I am upper middle class and study at the London School of economics and Finance (economics and Finance). I am 18 years old. What are my chances of becoming a billionaire?

thanks ! i once got sent back home because the receptionist thought i was in grade 8. i was in grade 11, thank you.

thanks ! i once punched a guy in grade 6, and one of his teeth disappeared. we're still in touch and he has a denture, thank you.

thanks ! my ex best friend stopped talking to me after i opened up something very personal to her. she was forcing me to tell, so i did. and she said ‘i can't stay frens with someone who has gone through that ew.’ OKAY.

Why do I feel so tired all the time even after a good night’s sleep?

thanks ! i am disgustingly self aware, there's nothing i haven't already over-thought about.

thanks ! i yap fast, i eat fast, i walk fast. i walk really fast, i hate slow walkers.

side note : this is a slight trauma dump and heavy silly shit, so don't come at me ty.

Blue Jackets acquire forwards Charlie Coyle and Miles Wood from Colorado - NHL.com

thanks ! i almost got k!dnapp3d last year.

thanks ! i have a useless talent of memorizing and recognising footsteps. if i am meeting someone for the first time and i hear their footsteps, i’ll know what their steps sound like when i meet them, next.

thanks ! i am the way i am because my dad accidentally banged my head against the wall when i was 3, while playing with me.

All-time great wrestler Hakuho quits Japan Sumo Association with plans to form global body - AP News

thanks ! the lore i carry, are the things that actually happened to me. my parents n know nothing about whatever i wrote here except, where i have mentioned them. i have no plans on telling anything to them, any time soon. thank you.

thanks ! i once turned so red after an awkward situation, that my teacher took me to the medical room, to check if i had fever.

thanks ! i almost fell from a 9 storey building while playing holi with my friends, in grade 6. idk who saved me but i remember getting pushed in a bucket of colored water after that.

Elon Musk posts throwback to SpaceX’s garage days after the 500th Falcon rocket launch; his caption reads - Times of India

thanks ! omw from school, i jumped out of the moving van because, i thought we stopped. embarrassing. i did not get hurt but my fren started to bawl.

thanks ! got chased by a group of seniors in grade 7, because we threw water balloons on their vehicles. valid because we did that on purpose.

thanks ! tata’s nano used to be my favorite car ever. its so cute, you cannot change my mind.

The world needs the United States, but the USA doesn't need the world. Is this true?

thanks ! i kicked a guy who was three years senior to me, in the balls while playing kabaddi in the school playground because, he made fun of my hg for not having a father. deserved.